The Voice of Truth

When we entered the new uncertain phase of our lives on 28th February this year, I didn't think much of it at first. But as the situation prolonged, I started asking survival questions like “What if dad loses his job?”, “Will we have to relocate?”, “How will I make friends in a new place?” and so on…

At first, I thought these fears were just because of the uncertainty around me. But looking back now, I realise the situation only revealed the truth of what was happening inside me.

It brought out the voices in my head that I listen to more than I’d like to admit.

Sometimes these voices tell me that I’m not good enough…

Not pretty enough;

Not intelligent enough;

Not faithful enough.

And the scary part is that after having listened to these voices long enough, I would see myself slowly start to believe them.

These thoughts questioned my worth and made me compare myself to everyone around me. They became so loud that they started to overshadow the promises of my God.

One of those foundational promises God has used to anchor me throughout my life is Ephesians 2:10. A family friend had taught me this verse when I was very young and encouraged me to replace the word "we" with my own name whenever I read it.

So for years, I’ve read the verse like this:

“For I am God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for me to do.”

As a child, this verse made me feel special, and as I grew older, its meaning became much deeper. When God calls me his workmanship this means I am not created accidentally and there is nothing coincidental with what happens in my life. So, even at such an uncertain time in our lives, I recognised that what was missing was God's voice of truth which alone keeps me on level ground. It is only when my feet are firmly planted in God's truth that I am able to see myself through the lens of his Word.

However, growing up I hadn’t always seen myself the way my God saw me.

During high school, I had found myself constantly comparing myself to those around me, becoming overly conscious of how I looked, what people thought of me, and whether I met their standards. This eventually led me into unhealthy relationships, where I spent much of my time trying to please others and gain their approval.

Even with those in church, I had often felt insecure about my walk with God. When I would hear others share about what God was teaching them or how they were growing, it felt as though I was falling behind. Instead of being honest about where my journey with the Lord was, I would occasionally find myself pretending I was doing spiritually better than I actually was.

My struggle often took the form of comparison and self-doubt. Voices of failure from the past, fear about the future, loneliness, rejection, or the pressure to meet expectations. These voices can pose themselves as sounding different, but ultimately, they all have one thing in common: they are not God's voice of truth.

Even after becoming a believer, I could see how these insecurities were even slowly changing the way I saw myself.  Although God has made me a new creation in Christ, the more I listened to these false voices, the more I began to believe that they defined me, even to the point of making it my identity.

But that’s when I understood that God never asked me to become another person in order to be loved by him. And he never changed the identity he has given me as his child. I think that’s why I constantly need to be reminded of God’s truth again and again.

Because when I forget who God says I am, I start believing whatever my fears say instead.

Recently someone shared 1 John 3:19-21 with me,

“This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God.”

It acknowledges something so real - sometimes our own hearts condemn us and the harshest voice we hear can be our own. But God is greater than our heart. That doesn't mean those false voices instantly disappear. They may continue to speak into our lives, but the power of recognising and reminding ourselves daily of who God is and what our relationship with him is, breaks the influence of those false voices. I’m still learning how to stop giving those thoughts authority over my life and letting God’s truth become louder than the voice in my head.

There are still days where I let insecurities control the way I see myself. Days where I know what God says about me is true - but I struggle to actually believe it in my heart because I don’t “feel” it.

Recently, during our time of family prayer, I was reminded of 2 Timothy 1:7 which says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

A sound mind is not what I will arrive at, but what I have already been given just because I am God’s child. Now, through battling these voices,  I am learning to apply and live out what God has already given me.

For me, one of the greatest comforts has been understanding that God does not leave us alone to fight these thoughts by ourselves. He cares deeply about the condition of our hearts and minds. 

And, I think that's also why God intentionally places people around us - that the more I heard from others and opened up to them, the more I realized I wasn't alone. He uses conversations, prayer, encouragement, and even simple reminders to gently guide me back to his truth whenever we begin losing sight of it.

If we don't allow God’s voice to define us, eventually our own voice of fears and insecurities will.

God says we are chosen.

God says we are loved.

God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

God says we are his workmanship.

God says we are created with purpose.

There is hope in knowing that God is patient with us as we slowly learn to see ourselves the way he sees us.  We begin to taste redemption in our lives when we don’t allow for every negative thought to have the final word. For me, that looks like learning to recognise the lies I have believed about myself and replacing them with God's truth.

Because even when our hearts condemn us, God is still greater. Thanks be to God!